Scriptural marriage

We are living in a world of confusion. If you search answer for anything, you will surely get a thousand conflicting answers. Perhaps no one knows exactly what is right. Confusion is the problem of the modern world which has taken the marriages also at stake.

Suppose you ask what marriage is, you can get a plethora of answers, some are listed below:

¾    Marriage is the union of two personalities,

¾    Marriage is the union of a male and female,

¾    Marriage is God uniting a male and female to have godly offspring

¾    …….and so on.

The answer invariably depends on the understanding of the respondent.

Though Bible teachings are explicit about marriage. We can find various ways to get a partner in Christendom, while the western world promotes dating and love marriages, eastern culture strongly stands for arranged marriages of the patriarchal pattern. If you thoroughly search for the truth about biblical marriage, then you understand that the Bible neither teaches the eastern culture nor western.

Bible in the Old Testament and New Testament equally, conducted marriages with the involvement and blessing of parents in full consent of the bride and the groom. There are also instances when either the parents were wrong or sons, leading to mishaps and judgment from God. Hence it is more than essential to glean across the Bible to find the truth.

1.      Adam.

God made Adam and placed him in a perfect environment. Even in Eden, Adam felt desolate. So it was God who took the initiative and made a wife for him. Gen. 2: 18. Adam did not seek one, but his father God provided. The Bible calls Adam as the Son of God. Luke 3: 38. Before they met each other, they met their God and God brought them together.

2.      Lamech

It's always parents to seek a wife for their son. But Bible specified that “He took two wives”. Then we can hear his boasting to his wives about his heinous deed. Gen. 4:19-23.

3.      Sons of God and the Daughters of men.

Though the stated phrase has various interpretations, a majority of the theologians opine that sons of God were Seth’s children and daughters of men to be Cain’s. The Bible says, “And it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born unto them, that the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose. Gen. 6: 1 - 6. The selection was based on the choice of the bridegroom for beauty rather than the father’s opinion. Through this act of marriage, giants were born grieving God.

4.      Abraham.

Though we do not have a clear picture of the marriage of Abraham and Sarah, we definitely have to assume that their father Terah has a role in the marriage. The reason for this argument is, when they parted from Ur to go to Haran, it was Terah who was leading the family. The Bible says, “And Terah took Abram his son, and Lot the son of Haran his son's son, and Sarai his daughter-in-law, his son Abram's wife; and they went forth with them from Ur of the Chaldees, to go into the land of Canaan; and they came unto Haran, and dwelt there.” Gen. 11: 31.

Later Abraham takes the initiative, to send Eleazar for a wife to his son, Isaac. 

5.               Isaac

Isaac and Rebekah did not seek a wife for their sons even at 40 making Esau takes self-initiative of two wives and it became a grief to his parents. Gen. 26: 34- 35. Later in his struggle to please his parents Esau married again, Mahalath the daughter of Ishmael Abraham's son from Hagar. Gen. 28: 7-9 “And that Jacob obeyed his father and his mother, and was gone to Padanaram; And Esau seeing that the daughters of Canaan pleased not Isaac his father; Then went Esau unto Ishmael, and took unto the wives which he had Mahalath the daughter of Ishmael Abraham's son, the sister of Nebajoth, to be his wife.” 

6.      Jacob.

Though his parents did not seek a wife for him in time and sent him to seek one for himself. He obeyed with full diligence but got the wrong one, Rachel without recognizing his actual wife Leah. Scriptures reveal that Leah was his actual wife though remained unloved.

The reason for that is Rachel gave birth to Joseph leading to Manasseh and Ephraim. Gen. 41:51- 52. Later God rebuked the sons of Ephraim through Prophet Hosea.

Ephraim is joined to idols: let him alone.  Hosea. 4: 7

Ephraim, he hath mixed himself among the people; Ephraim is a cake not turned. Hoses 7: 8

Ephraim compasseth me about with lies, and the house of Israel with deceit: but Judah yet ruleth with God, and is faithful with the saints. Hosea. 11:12 

The iniquity of Ephraim is bound up; his sin is hid. Hosea. 13:12 

Even today many believe that the antichrist will be from the tribe of Dan or Ephraim. Dan is from Bilhah, the handmaid of Rachel and Ephraim is from Rachel herself. Gen. 30: 6.

7.                  Samson.

The book of Judges cites “And Samson went down to Timnath, and saw a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines. And he came up, and told his father and his mother, and said, I have seen a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines: now therefore get her for me to wife.”Jud. 14: 1 & 2. But the Philistines took him, and put out his eyes, and brought him down to Gaza, and bound him with fetters of brass; and he did grind in the prison house. Jud. 16: 21.

8.      David

David, a man of God’s own heart, also wasted his life by women. We read about Abigail in 1 Sam. 25: 42. Immediately in the next verse 43, “David also took Ahinoam of Jezreel; and they were also both of them his wives”. Later we know about Bathsheba’s episode also.

9.      Solomon.

Though he began with God, we find his wives turned his heart after their gods. “But king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, and Hittites; Of the nations concerning which the LORD said unto the children of Israel, Ye shall not go in to them, neither shall they come in unto you: for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods: Solomon clave unto these in love.” 1 Kings 11: 1-2

There are much more instances when men turned away from biblical doctrines for women to bear adverse consequences.

10.  Marriage of the Lamb.

The perfect marriage in the Scriptures is that of the Lamb of God. We know it is a perfect arranged marriage. The Bible says, “For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified. Rom. 8: 29, 30

It is the Father who takes the whole initiative. “No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him: and I will raise him up at the last day”. John. 6: 44

“But when it pleased God, who separated me from my mother's womb, and called me by His grace, to reveal His Son in me, that I might preach Him among the heathen; immediately I conferred not with flesh and blood”. Gal. 1: 15, 16.

Western culture made us lose what the Bible preaches about marriage. Bible is an eastern civilization book advocating an ideal marriage under the mentorship of the father. Matter taken out of context have always proven worse.

Bible clearly teaches, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. Eph. 6: 1 – 3

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Col. 3: 20

Obeying parents in all things include marriage as well.

Sabu Varghese. 
Kochi